Ten minutes, two stories.

This is the one where I was accidentally involved and almost ruined the Kobe Bryant “Black Mamba” campaign. You have all seen it. Now here the story behind it.

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The Kobe Bryant sneaker is not a Black Mamba but a harmless Mexican Milk snake.


The second story is one no one really knows. It is the story behind the only commercial flight allowed to fly over US soil on September, 11th 2001. The reason behind it is quite unreal. Here is a link to one of the only stories about it. I remember this because I was involved in the phone chain on 9/11 to help this guy.

Only commercial flight on 9/11. 

I promise I will get these on iTunes soon. Still working on it.

Fucking Cats

Took a picture of my cat  Elroy’s ass on my keyboard and he immediately turned around and gave me this look when it popped up in the screen.


Slow day on the Franco Farm today. Honestly the most I have done is put on pants to go to the door to get the boneless buffalo wings I will slowly eat as I watch Netlflix.

Video of me trying to get an RSS feed today for a podcast.

It is precisely why I am not going to post the Kobe Black Mamba sneaker store. It deserves a better platform than what I currently have, which might qualify for outsider art.

So if you are like me and need to punch things when you are angry let me offer you a solution. Watch these two videos. I made them to remind myself I can create things, and to be honest, they are just flat relaxing. The footage shot at Muir Woods and Monterey Bay Aquarium.

Seriously you can’t watch the Aquarium and stay in a bad mood. To be perfectly narcissistic I don’t know how I got such good, steady, fluid shots in a crowded aquarium. The jelly fish at the end is just otherworldly.

This was just extraordinary lighting in what I could swear was Endor.



From Stuffing Reptiles Down my Pants to the Allure of a Belly Dancer’s Snake.

Young Franco rollin’ like a mother fucking pimp. Ignore the tape around the mouth.



So this sort of scratches the surface of  absurdity of how reptiles are the single most guiding and influential thing in my life. Don’t worry even if you aren’t into reptiles you will like this. I focus more on reactions and situations I got in due to reptiles. Some examples of what you will hear about.

  • Putting frogs in my pants
  • Befriending drug dealers to find snakes
  • Mistakenly being accused of growing marijuana
  • Hard wiring my college dorm (illegally)
  • Belly Dancer keeps my attention for the wrong reason
  • How I invented parkour, nay, hardcore parkour
  • Losing a Komodo dragon in a city
  • Idiot steals a viper then rides the DC metro
  • The existence of snake alarms
  • Mambas reenact Jurassic Park’s raptors escape.



Soundcloud Link For Franco Files and Reptiles

Hey lets leave an alligator in front of Franco’s table so when he comes to the convention center hungover he will have to step over an alligator.

When the alligator research group leaves an alligator in front of your stable as you stumbled in the convention hall hungover.

Prime snake and drug hiding spot in Philly
Walking the tracks in west Philly looking for snakes but finding mostly heroin.
Recording location and number of snakes in West Philly
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Flipping boards, will there be a snake or Hepatitus?
Just a shady, off the grid, abandoned cemetery in Philly. Full of snakes and packs of wild dogs.
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Fuck, this is going to take a long time to get through.
Did not find a snake, however I did find Tetanus
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Full grown breeding pair of Storeria dekayii. This was what we wanted to see.
Took me  25 years of looking to find my Holy Grail, the Timber Rattlesnake.
South facing granite slide. Found 5 Timber Rattlesnakes there. Need to watch your step.
Not easy to find this one, had to climb chest deep into a small rock nook.
The time I crossed two different species to make hybrids. Waiting list 25 people long before eggs were laid.
Just snuggling with tortoises
You don’t have a “Daytona Venomous Expo” shirt?


The Worst Probable Situation

I have kept my head in the sand for a lot of this political back and forth. Like a true American I am not going to take a direct stance, but will  make sweeping generalizations of politicians and their parties.

Before reading this know that I was the prime age for the outbreak of the AIDS virus not in contraction, but in education. I was in the first middle school class where they were required to teach us about AIDS. I remember how uncomfortable the teachers were talking about it. I also remember how comfortable I felt because it was still widely accepted that gay intercourse is the primary way you contract it.

This is about the Reagan’s. Most people remember them in fond light, or read about them in and how they were great for America.


They set us back decades. I realize that people reading this might not have been born before AIDS was “discovered” so let me put it very bluntly. The Reagan administration directly refused to acknowledge it, provide funding for, or making it a priority because it was happening in the gay community.

It was first discovered in 1981, and patient zero had the worst probable job to try and follow a chain of infection. He was a gay international flight attendant. Imagine being in the CDC and seeing it pop up all over the world with seemingly impossible speed?

Move to 1983 there were 1,025 cases, by 1984 there were 4,177 cases. Yet not a word from the government, well I shouldn’t say that. Reagan’s director of communication Pat Buchanan said it was revenge for being gay.

The Reagan administrations first acknowledgement of AIDS was that it was punishment for being gay.

The Reagan’s didn’t acknowledge AIDS, even though the CDC was screaming and waving their arms saying “HEY WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE AN EPIDEMIC HELP!” But the administration did not want to drop a dollar to help their own citizens because they were gay. They only acknowledged it when famed movie star Rock Hudson contracted the disease.

The worst part is that it was still believed to be gay related when young male hemophiliacs were contracting it through blood transfusions and were treated like sexual abuse victims. Destroying families because according to the news it was only affecting homosexuals.

In the movie “And the Band Played On” Matthew Modine gives a passionate 20 second speech to government officials. They were only meeting with the CDC because now you males were contracting it through blood transfusions. The sad part of this is that cost benefit argument has only grown larger in the medical field.

Oh, the correct answer to his question is one.


If you want  immediate and factual response to this disease just look where miseducation gets you…people in various countries of central Africa believe having sex with a virgin will cure AIDS. When I was in Kenya their were signs in the airports and in cities that said “AIDS IS A PROBLEM USE A CONDOM” to warn visitors how rampant it had become.

If you want to get the best representation of how this epidemic occurred but don’t want to read? Watch “And the Band Played On”. It the most factual representation of the debacle.

I am dumfounded that people legitimately think AIDS started with a man having sex with monkey and/or chimpanzee. No, it is called the “cut hunter” infection. We share a lot of diseases with apes because we are so closely related. A hunter was most certainly butchering and infected ape and had cut himself in the process allowing blood to blood transition.

Now don’t even get me started on Nancy Reagan’s “Just Say No” campaign.


Fuck it, after 6 attempts this is the pilot Franco Files. Yes I jump right into the DoD.

I have about 6 pilots attempted. Not sure if this going anywhere, but I have been up for a couple of days. Working on getting it on iTunes. Feel free to tell me to fucking kill myself or maybe give a thumbs up and head nod, fuck it, go crazy with some finger guns.



Franco Files Soundcloud link


Pic of a 19 year old Franco and a Komodo Dragon. 2913_71720254899_268141_n